The Child

Yay. I am here to unload my jumble of thoughts again.

Just wondering, what do -you- think of this html address?

I am just beginning to feel rather sheepish about it.

Heh, quite a childish html address, right?

But then again, if you do not express yourself like the child within you - you are being less sincere and genuine than you can be.

Everybody has a child inside of them.

A child that is untainted and uncorrupted.

A child that beams with pure innocence.

A child that whispers only truth and knows nothing of lying.

A child that is obedient to God.

A child that hides nothing but wonders in curiosity at everything.

But how often do we bring out that child inside us?

We like to keep it hidden, because the real world has taught us that to show the child inside us is rather unwieldy.

And the child inside us is the part of us which is most likely to be hurt.

That is why we like to keep him hidden, and not show it - because we do not want to be hurt.

Sometimes we only show it to people whom we can trust.

And even they might counsel you to keep it well-hidden.

In a safe corner.

Locked.

Because the world is a cruel place.

But no matter how hidden it may be, it still resides within us.

It is still us.

Sometimes we want to do things that child does not agree with,

Yet we carry on to do it. Because the world taught us so.

But the child feels it. He makes you know it. That what you are doing is wrong.

Then you feel stricken.

But some people decide to muffle the voice of the child, to shut the child up.

So they hid him even deeper within, into a deeper recess of their hearts.

Yet there is still a child inside us.

It can be kept hidden, but it will always be there.

So how deep have you hid the child inside you?

Jumble of thoughts.

I can't feel the magic anymore.

I don't know what magic there is, or there was. But I think it is time to step back into the portal of reality. Into hard firm solid ground.

I need to plant my feet on hard firm solid ground.

I need to find myself. I want to know who I am. I want to be who I am.

I don't need to explain.

I need God.

I want to be as close to God as I had been when I was young.

I want to feel God's presence.

I want to be away from my tainted, corrupted, worldly self.

Wisdom and knowledge is nothing if there is no fear of the Lord God Almighty, as evident in King Soloman. He was the wisest, yet he still sinned against the Lord God.

Reality

Some things are not ideal, and must thus be accepted so.

The Lord is therefore made perfect in my weaknesses.

What that cannot be more sincere

" O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord.

You hem me in - behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, " Surely darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,
I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the ways everlasting. "

Psalms 139

Amen.

Tinted spectacles

We all wear our own tinted spectacles to view the world.

The actual reality of what there is, and what really is.

Now that I am aware of that pair of tinted spectacles,

I know that it is time to take it off,

Before it continues to further distorts my vision of the actual reality.

Catching my breath

Running Route [12:07]

Hmm...I think my stamina is deteriorating. Probably due to the overdosage of caffeine in coffee...is that considered drug abuse? :P

I think life has been pretty fast-paced these days, especially weekends.

I think I need to slow down.

And I am going to need to practice some fiscal discipline on myself too.

Hmmmm....

Truth

One phrase that really struck me during Sunday School class today...

"You are accountable only to God."

And thus indeed, the truth has set me free.

Hectic weekend and looking ahead

It was a really fun, enjoyable and meaningful weekend with various rounds of dota, meeting up with my jc classmates, and having yf group outing at kim hee's place where many exciting rounds of board games are played.

Whoo...looking ahead for this week shall be:

1) Monday, wednesday and thursday stay back for IQA stuff.

2) Monday to Friday - Airborne Refresher Training with jumps hopefully on Thurs and Fri

3) IPPT trainings for runs...need to buck up, having been slacking on runs for the past few days.

Pray that I will keep focused and put God above all things I do.
Pray that I will do everything with a clear conscience with God as the centre of everything I undertake.
Pray that I will be able to deepen my communication with people I cherish.