a marketplace of ideas

The Child

2006-10-23T22:34:00.000+08:00

Yay. I am here to unload my jumble of thoughts again.

Just wondering, what do -you- think of this html address?

I am just beginning to feel rather sheepish about it.

Heh, quite a childish html address, right?

But then again, if you do not express yourself like the child within you - you are being less sincere and genuine than you can be.

Everybody has a child inside of them.

A child that is untainted and uncorrupted.

A child that beams with pure innocence.

A child that whispers only truth and knows nothing of lying.

A child that is obedient to God.

A child that hides nothing but wonders in curiosity at everything.

But how often do we bring out that child inside us?

We like to keep it hidden, because the real world has taught us that to show the child inside us is rather unwieldy.

And the child inside us is the part of us which is most likely to be hurt.

That is why we like to keep him hidden, and not show it - because we do not want to be hurt.

Sometimes we only show it to people whom we can trust.

And even they might counsel you to keep it well-hidden.

In a safe corner.

Locked.

Because the world is a cruel place.

But no matter how hidden it may be, it still resides within us.

It is still us.

Sometimes we want to do things that child does not agree with,

Yet we carry on to do it. Because the world taught us so.

But the child feels it. He makes you know it. That what you are doing is wrong.

Then you feel stricken.

But some people decide to muffle the voice of the child, to shut the child up.

So they hid him even deeper within, into a deeper recess of their hearts.

Yet there is still a child inside us.

It can be kept hidden, but it will always be there.

So how deep have you hid the child inside you?

Jumble of thoughts.

2006-10-09T12:29:00.000+08:00

I can't feel the magic anymore.

I don't know what magic there is, or there was. But I think it is time to step back into the portal of reality. Into hard firm solid ground.

I need to plant my feet on hard firm solid ground.

I need to find myself. I want to know who I am. I want to be who I am.

I don't need to explain.

I need God.

I want to be as close to God as I had been when I was young.

I want to feel God's presence.

I want to be away from my tainted, corrupted, worldly self.

Wisdom and knowledge is nothing if there is no fear of the Lord God Almighty, as evident in King Soloman. He was the wisest, yet he still sinned against the Lord God.

Reality

2006-09-05T22:34:00.000+08:00

Some things are not ideal, and must thus be accepted so.

The Lord is therefore made perfect in my weaknesses.

What that cannot be more sincere

2006-08-28T00:32:00.000+08:00

" O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord.

You hem me in - behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, " Surely darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,
I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the ways everlasting. "

Psalms 139

Amen.

Tinted spectacles

2006-08-06T23:44:00.000+08:00

We all wear our own tinted spectacles to view the world.

The actual reality of what there is, and what really is.

Now that I am aware of that pair of tinted spectacles,

I know that it is time to take it off,

Before it continues to further distorts my vision of the actual reality.

Catching my breath

2006-07-23T23:37:00.000+08:00

Running Route [12:07]

Hmm...I think my stamina is deteriorating. Probably due to the overdosage of caffeine in coffee...is that considered drug abuse? :P

I think life has been pretty fast-paced these days, especially weekends.

I think I need to slow down.

And I am going to need to practice some fiscal discipline on myself too.

Hmmmm....

Truth

2006-07-16T23:36:00.000+08:00

One phrase that really struck me during Sunday School class today...

"You are accountable only to God."

And thus indeed, the truth has set me free.

Hectic weekend and looking ahead

2006-07-16T23:30:00.000+08:00

It was a really fun, enjoyable and meaningful weekend with various rounds of dota, meeting up with my jc classmates, and having yf group outing at kim hee's place where many exciting rounds of board games are played.

Whoo...looking ahead for this week shall be:

1) Monday, wednesday and thursday stay back for IQA stuff.

2) Monday to Friday - Airborne Refresher Training with jumps hopefully on Thurs and Fri

3) IPPT trainings for runs...need to buck up, having been slacking on runs for the past few days.

Pray that I will keep focused and put God above all things I do.
Pray that I will do everything with a clear conscience with God as the centre of everything I undertake.
Pray that I will be able to deepen my communication with people I cherish.

Random ramblings

2006-07-10T15:52:00.000+08:00

I called out;

There was a faint reply coming from the other side;

But the chasm between still appears to be huge.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I guess for certain things where only time can tell, patience becomes an important attribute that a person should have. Somehow, the tugging within me still continues to persist. Yet, it got a little fainter this time. Nevertheless...it is still distinct. Time changes people. People changes with time. Something that is meant to last a lifetime should not be rushed in moments, or moments of impatience could be slowly sowing seeds of unpleasant experiences. Prudence is therefore a must. Yet, one must not tarry when it is time. May God's will be done.

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slack saturday

2006-07-08T22:12:00.000+08:00

whoohoo, what a slack and peaceful day is today. slept until 3pm+ in the afternoon...then went outside for a coffee to wake myself up, then went for a bath, then went for a jog (12:13), then was considering to go for gospel rally, but decided i needed to cut my hair before i book into camp next week instead...then met my mom who was on her way back from work and went up to bathe again and here i am, typing the atypically peaceful and slack summary for Saturday, 08/07/2006!

for this post, i have decided not to be overly introspective nor philosophical...but I must say I am looking forward to go to church tomorrow. oh, and I am listening to 9:33 now, muahhah, seems that somehow I tend to have an inclined preference towards chinese songs. They seem somehow more meaningful than english songs in general. I may be slightly regretting why I didn't take chinese seriously during my secondary school and jc days as I have come to realize how useful knowing how to read and speak chinese has become. And of course writing is a bonus.

Oh, am eating canadian pizza now muahah. singaporean flavour. by-product of my sister's birthday that happened yesterday. got her a brown shoulder sling bag that she thought looked like a gunny sack - hey, those things are quite fashionable nowadays, isn't it?

Anyway, I'm off!

Limits

2006-07-08T17:18:00.000+08:00

" Know your limits - not so much so that you can halt before it, but more so of knowing how much to push to go beyond it."

Plasticine

2006-07-03T01:19:00.000+08:00

Have you ever tried to make sense of who you really are?

I think that is really an important question that one has to ask oneself in life. And it seems that the answer in itself is a variable - it constantly changes and never remains the same. It only depends on how frequent you decided to ask yourself that question, and somehow only the answer at that given point in time is accurate for that given point in time.

I think I am a piece of plasticine.

Through time, experiences, feelings, circumstances and people around you, the plasticine me is continually moulded at a non-constant rate of moulding. Different shapes and sizes thus began to emerge at each different moulding, different shades of colour continue to change.

Then you freeze time.

And there you have one particular mould with its given shape, size and colour contrast.

And there you have what you might call a definition of yourself in the given freezed time period.

Unfreeze, and the continual mouldings continues to take place endlessly, incessantly, infinitely.

And then of course you must not forget to pray for the potter who moulds the plasticine of you to be none other than God Almighty.

Updatables

2006-06-10T23:38:00.000+08:00

Running route [2] - 25:17

Been a long gap of 5 days since I last ran, since I am attempting IPPT again on Wednesday, I should strive to be as conditioned as possible.

Met up with cling and gordon at Macs this morning, kinda fun to catch up with good ole friends whom you haven't seen for a period of time. =)

Oh well, I think my life has recently been pretty high-paced. I think I need a break, and perhaps a peaceful day/night spent slacking at home might be a good idea sometime.

Muahhaa, short post.

Conscience

2006-06-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

Is a small voice hidden within the deepest inlets of your heart;

It is fainter than the faintest whisper;

And softer than a sigh;

But it is never wrong;

Being God's gift for us;

It is always righteous;

And directs you towards what is good and noble;

It also informs you what is wrong;

And urges you not to trod down the path of misdeeds.

Many times we choose to ignore the minute and tiny voice of conscience. But each time when we decided to make a decision to follow it even in extenuating circumstances, we allow it to grow a little bigger within us. It is like a small spark inside our heart. Everytime we choose to make a right decision, it glows slightly brighter. And we can then be able to feel its warmth a little more.

However, everytime we succumbed to temptations to deviate from the calling of the conscience, it becomes less bright and grows smaller. It becomes fainter than it even was before.

We have to make choices everyday. Some choices may require us to choose either to satisfy our human desire or follow the tiny voice of conscience.

And I pray that may God give us the strength to bravely follow our conscience each time we come to a crossroads like this.

Honour

2006-06-01T21:23:00.000+08:00

Having blogged about blogging, I shall now attempt to delve into the discussion of honour.

Honour is a noble concept. It carries the meaning of selflessness, of sacrifice for a worthy cause, of adherence to righteous principles and of the defence of the helpless.

The word 'honour' may carry a fixed definition in dictionaries (which I can't be bothered to look up due to severe and acute laziness :P ) but to different people, it has different meanings and different degree of different meanings.

A person may choose to define honour as not bending to vices and wickedness but keeping to one's own upright principles. In doing so, honour has thus in itself become a goal to achieve. A goal to achieve that can never be achieved, but a goal that one has to keep achieving for it to remain a goal by its own virtue.

That is, if you decided to stop striving for honour momentarily and decided to succumb to your vices for once, you have totally destroyed your honour that you sought to define. Honour is then lost, because it has been broken. And honour as a goal usually does not become a desired thing anymore.

Another person may choose to define honour as the involvement of self into the service of others. This definition of honour usually entails sacrifice to be made on the self in order to serve the needs of others whom you feel deserved to be sacrificed for. E.g. your loved ones, your country, etc. Honour then usually becomes something that you can be proud of. Compare someone who is proud of his own achievements, and someone who is actually proud of himself because he has helped another person who is in need, the latter would be a more honourable soul.

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There are more aspects of honour to be further explored, but for now, I shall decide to exercise my exclusive rights to stop blogging and watch TV. :D

Blogging about blogging

2006-06-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

Its amazing how I used to denounce blogging during my jc days and I here I am now, writing post after post. :)

Well, to set the record straight, during my jc days, I felt that blogging doesn't make sense because it is as if you are keeping an online diary. Diaries are meant to be private and personal right?

And now that I actually got into some sort of a momentum with blogging, I feel that I should perhaps attempt to justify my blogging encounters of late.

Blogging has become a platform for me to voice and organize my thoughts, I guess. If not for the occasional stranger or friend or happen to chance across my blog, I would say that blogging has been for my own previewing pleasure that allows me to keep track of myself. And at the same time, it is also quite cool to be able to publish your own articles.

And one reason why I had been against starting my own blog during my jc days was that the content of the blogs of friends whom I happen to come across then are somehow all filled with depressing thoughts. Different people use their blogs differently for different purposes indeed. But personally, I won't want to keep a record of all my depressing thoughts in writing online even. It just doesn't sound like a good idea.

Then again, what constitute depressing what what isn't? When people blog they blog about their feelings, and emotions. And yes, the blogger does have the exclusive and sole rights to voice their emotions or feelings in any manner they want it to be. But for me, to do it online doesn't sound like the way to move forward to resolve all problems.

But then again, I won't be completely ruling out publishing my feelings on my blog. Why not when I feel like it? Muahhaha. Just that this blog is named 'a buffet of ideas' for a purpose. In that the bulk of the articles would, I suppose, mostly be about thoughts and ideas, rather than emotions and feelings.

Blogging is also said by some to allow people to be updated about themselves. Somehow and more often than not, I think people find it easily to browse a friend's blog than to directly initiate a conversation via phone, sms or even msn. Browsing a blog seems so much simpler if the owner of the blog bothers to update at all.

Having said all that, blogging does have its goods and bads. But somehow lately, I appear to be more inclined towards the more positive side of blogging...

Tug

2006-05-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

Running route - 11:45

Whoo, enjoyed a good half day today. Today's UC lesson was on bayonet versus bayonet, and then we had a revision of the techniques we learnt yesterday. Met up with Kaiser at Bedok Princess Macs for some event planning then saw my BB juniors who were about to watch a movie at Princess. Amazing how the things you do still remained etched in the memory of your juniors and in a way define yourself.

Human relationships are so complex. So much feelings, emotions or the lack thereof can be involved via any means of communications - be it by face to face talk, sms, internet messenging or calling. Sometimes you just don't know whether to cease attempting to communication to someone you value. Because that someone might not want to reciprocrate the communication. It then becomes a sting in the face.

But then you just have to accept it and move on. Because such is life. Does life have to evolve around the person that you have in mind such that you change your taste and outlook in an attempt to cater to that person? Or does it involve you attempting to fulfill your own ambitions and goals?

Of course the most ideal would be to glorify God in all things and set that as the ultimate goal. But how often can we do that as humans, as mere mortals, who, from time to time slip into our weaknesses and vices. And seek to satiate our own human needs.

Sometimes you really ask yourself why the person you value is the person you want to value. Why does feelings run the way they do? And emotions sway the way they are? Sometimes you attempt to rationalize the feelings and emotions, but you can't.

Then you become stuck in a quagmire.

Because you cannot move forward to seek to address the myriad of emotions that you feel. Simply because you do not want to risk getting stinged in the face. And you cannot do away with the irrational emotions that seem to keep clinging itself onto you. Therefore you cannot move forward, not retreat.

Sometimes even as you attempt to move sideways, you continue to feel the irrational tug. And the tug that is so irrational continue to tug at you somehow.

And somehow, it continues tugging...

Thoughts

2006-05-28T00:52:00.000+08:00

Timing for running route - 12:04

"Strength comes from which achievements that are left untrumpeted."

I don't know how much of an extent is that statement true, but don't you feel that there is always a magical potential to achieve more if you do not flaunt your achievements?

Capacity for Care

2006-05-23T23:48:00.000+08:00

A thought crossed my mind earlier today and I wish to pursue it further on this blogging platform.

To genuinely care for another, one has to have an abundance mentality. Meaning that he has to think what he has is sufficient for himself already, then using what resources he has in abundance or excess to show care, concern and compassion for the other party.

What if he does not feel abundant enough to care for others?

The scarcity mentality takes over, and after evaluating his circumstances, he feels that what he has is scarcely enough for himself and what he needs. His survival instincts would therefore kick in and he would then attempt to devote his resources (time, energy and effort) to meet his needs first. And as he makes this decision, he is well aware that the other party could too use the resources that he has. But he has to make the decision to suffice his own needs first.

But if he has an abundance of his resources, he can make the decision to exhibit care and concern for the other party, because his needs have already been met.

This sounds to me like a logical analysis of human behaviour when it comes to showing care and compassion for another person. But what if a person choose to give his resources to the other party even when it is already scarce?

It would definitely be construed as a selfless act. By giving his already scarce resources (e.g. energy) to the other party, his own needs are not met, and doing or giving too much might eventually lead to a collapse of his health. He would then diminish his capacity to show more care for more of others therefore, because he has lessened his resources, to the extent of even not meeting his own needs.

Therefore, I feel that to greater increase a person's capacity to care for others in a win-win manner, is to increase his resources and to decrease his needs.

Increasing his resources is a simple concept. Making more time by cancelling other non-pertinent activities that he has planned for himself, learning more skills in order to have a greater range of help for the other party, improving himself, etc.

However, decreasing his needs entails something more complex. I believe that building up a person mental's endurance decrease his needs for energy required to sustain himself, building up a person's discipline decreases his needs for goods that are not necessary to his survival. Increasing a person's sense of empathy and intuition decreases his needs to satisfy his own convictions, as he would be able to understand the other party's point of view so cleary as if he himself is the one articulating that thought.

Decreasing his needs and increasing a person's resources will definitely make a person more confident in showing care and compassion for someone who needs it. Be it a friend, an acquaintance, a stranger, or a loved one. Confidence is important in caring because if you hesitate to help someone, it might be interpreted as you being unwilling, and therefore causes the other party to be less inclined to accepting your care even should you decided to commit yourself in the end. Hesitating also make your offer for care less sincere, and could be possibly seen to be wrought with an ulterior motive, even though you have none. Hence, confidence that comes with making a sure decision to offer care after reviewing your needs and theirs' is just as important as caring itself.

But the most important aspect is that the decisions that you make, whether to suffice your own needs, to offer care to others, or to offer care to others at the expense of your needs has to appease your conscience. Because the conscience is, I believe, the Holy Spirit guiding you towards the will of God. Only the conscience can understand whether you should have offered care when you didn't, or whether you did right in not offering care by meeting your needs first.

It is also important to understand the degree of the other party's needs in their own mentality. This is so that you can determine the degree of your care that you offer, whether it meets their needs, or whether it just meet the need that you determined for them (which could be more or less). This can only be achieved by empathy or intuition.

Record Broken

2006-05-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

...by 1 sec.

Muahahaha, broke my personal running track record on the track near my house at 12:25.

Anyway, went to visit our dear brother Lloyld today in SGH. He is looking in pretty good shape, still unable to move much but in good spirits recovering from his operation which went successfully. Then there was this guy who asked us for 10 bucks, quite fishy and suspicious. He claimed that he lost his wallet and has no money to go home. So both me and Ben had a plan. We hired a cab, then gave the 10 bucks directly to the taxi-driver and told him to drive him hold.

He suddenly seem unwilling...but too bad, he already boarded the cab. At least it is better than giving 10 bucks directly to him for all his suspiciousness, or not helping him at all.

Guess what?

After we went back to the hospital to get something for Lloyld, he appeared again, seemingly shocked to meet us. He then claimed that he is meeting his family members at SGH, and hurriedly took out a bunch of notes, and returned us a crisp 10 bucks, and thanked us for our help.

So we used the 10 bucks to buy some cakes and biscuits for Lloyld.

What a wierd encounter.

Multi-tasking

2006-05-20T17:48:00.000+08:00

I guess in a working environment, the ability to multitask is an important attritube. The catch is - you need to be able to multi-task without being overly stressed out, be clear-minded about your priorities, on what is important and what is urgent, and have a service-oriented attitude towards dealing with people which seek your help.

And I was thus put to the test on Friday at the Documentation Counter. Whilst handling an investigation case, tasked to call up on a personnel who needs to be interviewed, I have to receive calls to the Medical Centre also, being nearest to the phone. Then I have to register patients electronically on the Intranet at the same time, and answer questions from people over the counter, listen to requests for medical stores while another guy with a blister wants to get a plaster from me.

To actually efficiently maximises and prioritise all these things, one must adopt a true service-oriented professional stance that does indeed test the limits of one's patience. What I can say is, a front-desk job isn't easy. It requires one to be able to handle many requests coming in all at once, and remember them, and even tolerate the ire of senior commanders who presume that their own needs should always be the top priority, regardless of anything else.

These senior commanders needs to reflect on themselves, and stop thinking that they are the greatest in the world. Simply because they are not. And its too bad that they have decided to sign on a life of slavery to the army, so much that they actually forget many who were once their men will soon over-take them in life. They may actually require to seek those who were previously under them for help in life next time. And it will not be surprising that their attitudes then will take a 360 degrees turn to obsequiousness when it comes to that.

Simply put, some commanders deserves to be respected, others do not.

Especially those who like to take a demeaning stance towards their men. And it does not matter what your educational qualification is. An officer who had disrupted his National Service to study in London School of Economics under a Monetary Authority of Singapore's scholarship can easily choose to humiliate and demean a person's self-worth beyond what is necessary. And he did it, only God knows how many times.

Imagine your superior telling you to stand in front of your peers because you cannot hold a litre of water at the precise angle and height he wanted. Then commands you to shout to your fellow peers 'I am a selfish f***er.'

Repeatedly. Incessantly.

The guy - intimidated that he was, did it. And broke down as he continues to demeans himself in a punishment that in no way builds him up physically, mentally, psychologically - a punishment that seeks only to destroy his self-worth as a human being.

I care not to name names, but this officer who apparently thinks rather highly of himself was featured in First Degree Scholarship Magazine. I believe little does his colleagues or his scholarship providers know what sort of character is he really, given with the vested authority and power over his men.

All right, I don't know how the topic of Multi-tasking actually evolved to this, but anyway the moral of this post is - multitasking is an important ability to have.

So yeah :)

"Utt!"

2006-05-17T22:37:00.000+08:00

...is also known as Internal Breathing Technique.

"Utt!" must always be produced whenever you break a fall.

It is only the second day of our Unarmed Combat Course, but I am already starting to feel my whole body aching for rest. :P

Yes, its that bad. Especially a technique called 'Break-fall' that you need to execute and practise as warm-up. And there are several kinds of them. Let me just briefly run through them:

First, there is the forward break-fall. You get into a position with your palms facing forward then lurch yourself forward onto the ground, simultaneously slapping your forearms onto the ground and digging the balls of your feet onto the ground. Not unlike a spider. In fact the posture actually looks like Tom Cruise's signature trademark fall posture in MI series. But yes, its painful.

Second, the left breakfall and right breakfall. You fall down, kicking one of your leg in the air and landing on either right or left side of your body, slapping the ground with one of the side of your forearm. Then produce the "Utt!" sound. Not as painful as forward, but it does make your sides sore and bruised.

Third, the backward breakfall. This is the one I am most uncomfortable with. Because I seem to get dizzy after doing it for a few times. Well, first you criss-cross your hands in front of your body, then fall backwards onto the ground, slappying the ground with both your hands and thrusting your hips upwards. Then promptly execute a backward roll and jump up to On-guard position. Better sound 'Eyyar!' loudly before the instructors make you repeat it again.

Forthly, the left forward roll and right forward roll breakfall. Basically its meant for quick recovering when you fall forward to your left or right, then you execute a quick forward roll and jump back on your feet to On-guard positions.

Warm up = 20 of each kinds of the 6 breakfall techniques. So breakfalls has become synonymous to pain for me.

But the exciting part is actually learning how to do Judo-throws. :) We covered reverse throws, hip throw, shoulder throw and collar throws today.

Nothing beats executing a good throw, then seeing your buddy fly in the air but pulling him back up to lessen the impact that he could be getting. Getting throw does have the feeling of getting a free roller-coaster ride too. And actually, this is where breakfalls come into play - when you get thrown, it is important to execute a good breakfall technique to land properly.

Ah well, it has been a tiring, painful but good learning experience today. May God bless me with mental endurance to go through the rest of the course without getting any fractures or whatnot. :P

Running route

2006-05-11T23:30:00.000+08:00

...near my house.

Timing clocked = 12:26mins

ChugChug.

IPPT

2006-05-10T22:01:00.000+08:00

Whoohooo!

2.4 timing = 10:06 mins.

Praise God! And I shall continue working towards the IPPT Gold dream.

Elation

2006-05-10T00:40:00.000+08:00

Responsibility and accountability cannot be last-minuted. Even though the job may be tedious or mundune or simply way too boring/easy, responsibility on the part of the individual will be marred if he simply laxed for just one time. I feel the accountability call today was a reasonable one, so is the punishment dispensed.

Of course that does not explains the subject for this post. =)
Only the few-minute msn conversation with her can justify it. Even if its just a few minutes, somehow it doesn't take away the electricfying sensation of the moment.

Goodness me, life is strange for me really.

Oh, and tomorrow the dream for the IPPT gold shall progress in its pursuit...with God's grace.

Mortality of Life

2006-05-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

Today, I understood mortality in a new meaning.

Just went to visit a fellow army friend in hospital with a whole group of us (kindly being given half a day off to do so by Doctor and Snr Medic). He just had a traffic accident while riding on his motorcycle. His whole face was bruised quite badly, though fortunately only superficially. But the worst thing is that he suffered a pelvic injury, broke the tissue connecting his bladder and his urethra and requires his urine to be collected in a bag. He couldn't move his lower body much without hurting also.

Seeing him and picturing myself in his shoes evoked my sympathies. I can almost imagine the agony he must be going through in hospital bed right now. At that moment, I thanked God for blessing me with good limbs and a healthy body, things which I often take for granted. I also thanked him for his mercy on me.

Pray that he will get better soon, and have a smooth recovery. It also goes to show that its not worth it to risk life and limb in pillion riding. Even the safest rider cannot avoid this kind of accident. Not to mention another in the camp died from a riding accident 2 days before my friend's.

Life seems so fragile. And mortal.

2006-05-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

Heh, this is the April-07 double birthday celebrations at Swensens for Magroup. Really nice of Xinwei(who due to some confusion didn't turned up in the end) and Ray Tan who originated the event. Had great earthquake! and some funky fries, which were finished in no time. Just koped this pic from Uncle Tan after he brought his laptop to church to showcase his magroup production clip, starring himself.

The Magroup chemistry seems to be fading though...

Moments

2006-05-08T01:28:00.000+08:00

In the strongest showing ever,

I declare that the jogging track route near my house has been run with a record timing of 12:36 (06) mins.

=)

Why is there simply moments of awkwardness when I simply want to talk to her?
Is it so difficult to be a friend? Or to have a friendly chat?

Optimism

2006-05-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

To reach beyond the lining of the horizon,

Takes certain imagination, courage and determination.

But with sufficient grit,

With God's love, grace and mercy,

Not to forget compassion;

IPPT Gold,

That lies just beyond the skyline,

Might just not be too impossible.

Stance

2006-05-02T23:16:00.000+08:00

Is a nuanced stance always the best stance?

Or is it only effective in diplomatic communications.

Not to mention your day-to-day exchanges.

A nuanced stance emphathizes with the other party.

It allows the other party's perspective to be acknowledged.

His view point taken into account, and considered.

Then almost simultaneously put forward your personal point of view.

In a poised manner.

In a well-wrapped manner.

That appreciates the other party's stand.

Yet asserting your own point of view.

But should all stances be nuanced?

Wouldn't life be bland then?

What of a passionate stance?

It does have its merits.

Perhaps when it comes to expressing your love to someone dear to you.

Preferably someone who recipocrates.

If not, it is better to adopt a nuanced stance,

For someone that might not.

Or is it?

What of a combative stance?

It comes when you need to strongly,

Assertively with a deep-seated sense of conviction,

To defend your deeply-held beliefs,

Or values,

Or loved ones.

Defence.

That is what warrants a combative stance.

Or what justifies it.

Then what can be made out of a non-chalent stance?

In what situations does it call a need for such perceived aloofness?

When someone insults you.

It is always a better alternative,

Than fighting back.

Than adopting a combative stance.

Because then,

A mountain could be made out of a molehill.

Voices that Care

2006-05-02T21:20:00.000+08:00

" Lonely fear lights up the sky
Can't help but wonder why
You're so far away.

And when, you didn't have a friend
To lend a helping hand
Life can be so strange

But now, we're reaching out to you
Doesn't matter who
As long as we are friends

And I, won't turn my back on you
Our friendship will be true
Never let it end

Stand tall, stand proud
Voices that care are crying out loud
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

We are the voice, we are the Light

Stand tall, stand proud
Voices that care are crying out loud
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your hear our love burns bright

We are the voice and the shining Light

Feel in your heart, how our love burns bright."

A song that never fails to open the windows of my heart and reach into the good old memories of batch bonding and spirit.

Drift

2006-05-02T21:03:00.000+08:00

Human dynamics and relationships is so complex.

It is really puzzling to understand things such as these. What had seemed like a closely-forged bond between a group of people can suddenly be apparently lacking in chemistry.

What that was fuzzy warm,
Can turn cold in a blink of an eye.

Coldness - defined as a relationship that has outlasted its shelf life?

Can it be due to insecurity, insincerity, or just mere aloofness?

It is easy to rebut coldness with coldness.

Just as it is easy for a tortoise to retract into its shell.

Or for a threatened tiger to face the foe and fight.

To preserve its life, or perhaps its sanity.

Or its self-worth.

Detachment - that is but one weapon to fight coldness with coldness.

You retreat,

Tactically.

Then pretend you never had anything to do with your surroundings.

An aura of frost surrounds you.

The temperature around you drops.

Yet you feel an emptiness within.

Gulf

2006-05-01T00:36:00.000+08:00

A deep gulf that separates;

I called out,

But the other side didn't answer.